Tasking vs Relationships

Thursday our Formation was held at Sharon's house up at the beach.  The discussion on the agenda was the aforementioned.  It is very common for assistants, when they first come to serve here, to want 'to do for' rather than relax and just 'be there'.  Some, having lived in a society where work and accomplishment are paramount, on a scale from one to ten, are over-active and controlling; others are able to make the adjustment easily, or with practice, or are just naturally so, to the rhythm of relaxation and giving relationship a more important role.

I am, frankly, a tasker, but am learning.  My need is to make order out of chaos, so sometimes I am compulsive about housework.  I love to work in the garden, so our property looks nice.  However, occasionally I am assigned to Pam, our core member who is non-verbal and in a wheelchair.  She needs constant care with eating, toileting, bathing, dressing, etc.  I have learned to slow down when I am with her. Initially, I was terrified when I first observed her care, thinking I would never be up to the task - how would I bond with her; how would I communicate with her?  I know she comprehends, so I have begun an ongoing conversation while atttending to her; telling her about my fears and disappointments and accomplishments.  She and I are beginning to feel comfortable together.  It is all about the journey.