Advent and Christmas

The holiday and days and nights leading up to the Birth of Christ have been almost as hectic as when I was living 'on the outside'.  Some nights I am so tired, I cannot even turn on the computer, much less blog.

One of the remarkable things about L'Arche is the loyalty of former assistants, who come back from all over the United States, year after year, to visit the core members, especially this time of year.  They are young men and women who have gone on to graduate school or begun careers, many, but not all by any means, in the field of social services.  There is such a warmth of feeling all around. Hospitality is a hallmark of our community, and there is always a place at the table or a bed for the night.

The highlight of the season is the Living Nativity, L'Arche's annual gift to Jacksonville, held in a different venue each year, even outside at The Landing riverfront in previous times. This year's presentation was made at St. John the Baptist, Mayport, a newly renovated church in the style of a Benedictine Monastery.  The Gospel of Luke was narrated by Sharon and Sister Rita, as the players entered the darkened nave by candle light to Pachelbel's "Canon".  All those lovely, innocent, broken people moved me to tears.  Frankly, I had anticipated a rather amateur performance, but the standing ovation by a packed house was evidence enough that I couldn't have been more wrong.

Beyond that, we have been to the Festival of Lights (lifeguard stands decorated in Christmas themes) at the beach; held an egg nog party; seen the Nutcracker, at which a good friend danced; provided dinner for all those in our community who remained here over the holidays, and taken excursions to Memorial Park and Little Talbot Island.  In between, I managed a short trip to New Orleans to catch the music scene at night. Life is good!

Tasking vs Relationships

Thursday our Formation was held at Sharon's house up at the beach.  The discussion on the agenda was the aforementioned.  It is very common for assistants, when they first come to serve here, to want 'to do for' rather than relax and just 'be there'.  Some, having lived in a society where work and accomplishment are paramount, on a scale from one to ten, are over-active and controlling; others are able to make the adjustment easily, or with practice, or are just naturally so, to the rhythm of relaxation and giving relationship a more important role.

I am, frankly, a tasker, but am learning.  My need is to make order out of chaos, so sometimes I am compulsive about housework.  I love to work in the garden, so our property looks nice.  However, occasionally I am assigned to Pam, our core member who is non-verbal and in a wheelchair.  She needs constant care with eating, toileting, bathing, dressing, etc.  I have learned to slow down when I am with her. Initially, I was terrified when I first observed her care, thinking I would never be up to the task - how would I bond with her; how would I communicate with her?  I know she comprehends, so I have begun an ongoing conversation while atttending to her; telling her about my fears and disappointments and accomplishments.  She and I are beginning to feel comfortable together.  It is all about the journey.